#MusicMonday: My Name is Blurryface

This week I chose the song “Stressed Out”by twenty one pilots,

Twenty-One Pilots are a band that I just recently heard about after this song started playing on the radio.  They have actually been around for about 5 years.  The band, which consists of Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun, hail from Columbus, Ohio.  “Stressed Out” is their third single off of their album “Blurryface.”  To me, their sound is unique.  A mix of hip hop, mixed with alternative with a pop feel.

You might be wondering why blurryface and what does it mean?  Trust me, I was wondering the same thing too.  Well, according to this interview here, blurryface represents the insecurities that the lead singer feels.

Honestly, I think this represents people in my generation.  I believe that a lot of people my age have the same insecurities.  I will be the first person to tell you that I also suffer from these types of insecurities.  Being an adult is overrated.  I wish that I could go back to childhood where there was not a worry in the world.  I wish I could go back to the day where it didn’t matter what I wore,  what I looked like, and back to the day where I didn’t need to worry about job hunting or paying bills.  When I was growing up I was always greeted with, “Go for your dreams!” “Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t accomplish your dream!”  Is it just me, or was it the previous generations that taught us this powerful lesson?  However, if we do that, we are labeled as rude and disrespectful as well as greedy and lazy.  See the problem here?

This is just an idea, but maybe our dreams look different then people in previous generations.  Nothing is wrong with that.  Different dreams include different ways of achieving them.

That’s just my two cents.  What about you? Do you agree? Disagree?  Why?

#MusicMonday: This Is My Fight Song

This weeks song that I chose was Rachel Platten and her song “Fight Song.”

If you haven’t heard of Rachel Platten, she broke out into the music scene last year with this song and it was an instant hit.  It seemed like everywhere I turned, or every radio station that I turned on was playing this song every hour on the hour.  She just recently released her first full length album “Wildfire” at the first of the year and is continuing with hit songs like “Stand By You.”

This song really speaks to me and about my life here in Los Angeles and being in the music industry.  Like I have said about a thousand times before, living here in LA and being in the music industry is not easy for anyone, let alone being disabled and pursuing a life in the music industry. It takes a very strong willed person to keep pursing and fighting every day.

My dad came to visit me a few weeks ago and he finally got a glimpse of what my life is like here in good ol’ Hollywood. I was excited to see him, and am very happy that I got to spend some time with him.  I know my dad loves me unconditionally and supports me in anything that I want to do with my life, but I sometimes feel like he doesn’t understand why I decided to move all the way to LA to pursue a job that probably has the most unstable job market out there.   Yes, it is not the most stable job environment, but it keeps me on the edge of my seat most days.  But want to know something?  I wouldn’t have it any other way. For example, a wise person once said that if there is something else that you are good at, and pursuing music isn’t your only option, go do that because the music industry is no cake walk.  I have never been one to settle down with a 9 to 5 job. To me that is way to boring.  I want excitement.  I want something new to happen every day.  This is why I am pursing a certificate at UCLA in their Music Business program.  This is why I go to tapings and concerts and network with people from all around.  I am learning every day, and yes, there are days where I have no idea what the hell I am doing, but it’s all a learning experience. This is why I always ask people to trust me.

I am a fighter and I don’t give up easily and when I set my mind to something I make sure it is accomplished, come hell or high water.  Because like the song says, “I still gotta fight left in me.”

 

Life Is Full Of Choices

Life is full of choices.

Sometimes this can be as simple as what clothes we want to wear that day to what we want to eat.

However, we also can make bad choices as well.

Recently, I have been going through some personal stuff and it has not been the easiest to deal with.  I had been holding on to the anger, anxiety, and hurt.  This caused me to not be easy to be around.  I was withdrawing as well as on the verge of losing some great people in my life. Thats when my best friend came to me and told me that it is all about the choices we make.  I could sit there and be depressed and pissed off or I could make the choice to let it go and be happy.

I decided to do the latter and let it go and be happy.  Yes, I am still pissed off about certain situations but I am choosing to move on and not dwell on it.  If I have a moment where it does bother me, then I will be honest with it, voice it, then move on.

Has anyone else had issues with making the choice of holding on to bad emotions and letting them control your life?  If so, what did you do to let it go?

The Year of Learning How to Surrender

In past years I had tried making New Years Resolutions, but to no avail they never stick.  So I decided to do something a little different this year.  I would think of a word that would help define my 2016.   It took a while for me to figure it out, but the word came to me last night.  The word for my 2016 is: Surrender.

The last couple of months have not been the easiest for me health wise. Nothing too serious and it isn’t life threatening, but it is very annoying and there are days where I feel like the health issues control my life.  Last night was one of those nights, but it also was different because that was also my breaking point.  It was clear, I needed to surrender and let it go.  I suck at that, always have, but this is the year where I am going to grow in that area.  It’s not just going to help in health issues that I may have, but also other areas of my life, whether that be in relationships, or jobs etc.

So the motto for the year for me is “Let Go, and Let God” and remember that I cannot control every little thing in my life.

Changing from a Hobbyist to a Career

Lately I had been feeling lost with what I wanted to do with my life.  I have been living in Los Angeles for a little over a year and a half pursing jobs in the music industry.  But as time has gone on I have found a new found love for writing (hence the blog). I was starting to think that I wanted to switch from music to writing.  After talking to a good friend though, I realized I could do both.  The problem though: I have a hobbyist view on music and writing, meaning I am more passive and more of an observer with others instead of making my own content, as well as with my blog, and need to change my thinking to thinking about it as a career.  I honestly do not know how to change my thinking with that, and I know I need to in order to fulfill what I want to do.

My question to all you wonderful readers out there: Do you have any advice on how I can do this?  Have any of you had a similar issue?  If so, how did you change your thinking?  How do you become a successful content creator?  Lastly, how do you get yourself in the right mindset to become a content creator?

Trusting God and Doing Good

Last weekend I had the opportunity to see Joyce Meyer speak at a conference in Long Beach, California.  Now, if you don’t know who Joyce Meyer is, Google or YouTube her.  She is amazing and hilarious to boot!

Sadly, one of the sessions was cancelled due to a power outage in the area, but that did not stop the rest of the conference from happening the rest of the weekend.  Her topic for the conference that weekend was about trusting God and doing good.

I think this is a very hard lesson to remember for anybody, but also very important. I think it is so easy to see how hard life can get and easily forget that God has it in the bag.

I think God wanted to see if I was really listening this past weekend because I was constantly tested with things that were going on in my life.  It was like the inner voice in my head kept saying “Trust Me and keep doing good.”

She also said something about healing that really struck a chord with me and something that I completely agree with.  Joyce said that healing is a process.  Now, if you have kept up with my blog you know my thoughts and feelings on healing and being healed.  She went on to say that many Christians think and believe that being healed should be a instantaneous thing and they end up not enjoying the process and journey that comes with it, which in turn brings bitterness, anger and hatred in my opinion.  If I were to use praise hands, it would have been during this segment of the conference.

Going into this next week, I feel more encouraged and positive that things will turn out for the best, I just got to keep pushing forward and doing good.

Mythbusters Disability Edition: Diseased and Needs Help 24/7

All of my life I have heard, “Can I help you with that?” “Here, let me get that for you.” Or one of my favorites one yet, “So, are you helping out that disabled girl?” This is the type of things I get on a semi regular basis when it comes to people and dealing with my cerebral palsy.

Ever since I moved to Los Angeles almost a year ago, I have been pushed out of my comfort zone on a daily basis and have done things that I did not think that I could do, especially when it came to things dealing with my cerebral palsy. Although, I will say that the hardest and most eye-opening thing that I have had to deal with is people’s perceptions of me. And there have been a multitude of things that have come up in the last month or so that have really gotten under my skin, that I believe people need to be aware and mindful of.

What is that you ask? Well, let me tell you: Not all disabled people need a caretaker, and just because we have a disability does not mean we are diseased and the person I am going to be standing next to is going to get it. Now, you may be asking, “Katy, where in the world is this rant coming from?” Well I am going to tell you of two different instances that literally happened on the same day about a month ago.

The first incident happened when I had gotten an email to come in for an interview for an internship. To say that I was excited for this opportunity was an understatement. Sure, it wouldn’t be a paid internship, but it would at least help me get my foot in the door in the music industry. But as I continued to email with this person, the whole situation began to feel off. They wanted me to come in on Monday’s, Wednesday’s and Thursday’s until six, and the place where the internship was a good half hour away from where I live in Hollywood. I would do it, but I also had school to worry about as well and I told them that I couldn’t work until six on two of the days because of school. They of course fought back saying that I had ample time to get to class, and I was put in a position where I felt like I was backed into a corner where I had to mention my cerebral palsy. Now, I will be open and honest with anyone about my disability, that’s not an issue. I mean for crying out loud if I had an issue with it, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. But I do not tell jobs that I am disabled because I do not want that to be a defining factor in whether I get hired or not. I had to tell them that it takes me longer to get to places because of my disability and I have to leave enough time for that. This is the part that bugged me: They emailed me back and said, “I’m so sorry you suffer from this disease.” Um, last time I checked I wasn’t dying. To me I always looked at a disease as something you can die from, not a disability like mine, where it just hard for me to keep my balance and walk. However, according  to online resources, cerebral palsy is considered a disease, just not one that is considered deadly. I was unaware of this until just recently. Even I am still learning things from my disability, even after 27 years.  I ended up still setting up an appointment to have an interview, but after a couple of days I cancelled it because it just didn’t feel right going after everything that happened.

While I was dealing with the email situation, my roommate and I were doing laundry. After going to go check on the clothes, my roommate came back in and had told me of a conversation that she had with one of the other people in the apartment building while she was down there. They had actually asked about me. They had seen me around with my roommate and they thought that my roommate was my caretaker. Now, this is not the first time that this has happened. We will be out and about and people will just assume that she is my caretaker. I am setting the record straight right now. She is my best friend and roommate, not my caretaker. I do not and have I never needed a caretaker to take care of me in all my 27 years of life. My parents raised me to be strong and independent and I believe that they did a pretty damn good job. It can be very upsetting for me, as well as my roommate, and other people who I am close to because we can see what I am capable of and to have people assume that I cannot do things can be hurtful.

The positive that I take out of both of these situations is that I have a chance to share my story and show people who I am not some sick person who cannot do anything for themselves. I was able to tell the person I was emailing that there was no need or reason to feel sorry for me, that I am still the same Katy that will work her ass off when it comes to a job and that I do not give up easily.

I just want to encourage anybody that does see somebody who is disabled to not automatically jump to conclusions about whether they are sick, or cannot do things for themselves. Yes, there are people out there who have diseases, which make them not feel well on a daily basis, and yes, there are people out there who do need some extra help and do need a caretaker, but that does not mean that everyone does. I encourage you to get to know the persons story before you jump to such conclusions. I can tell you that it would make the persons day if you did something just as simple as that. Who knows you may make a new friend just by getting to know them.