Moving In (Literally) Into a New Season

These past few months have been the hardest months of my life in a long time.  I’m not going to go into detail about it just yet, as it is another blog post all on its own.  However, one week from tomorrow, I move into a new apartment. As anyone in Los Angeles, there is no way in hell that I can afford an apartment all on my own, but I feel like this move is a huge step for me.  I will, for the first time in the two and a half years that I have lived here in Los Angeles, have a place that I can call mine.

There are many emotions that go with this however.   Excited.  Nervous. Overwhelmed.  Scared shitless.  Just to name a few emotions.  It is all a roller coaster.

It has made me think about the two and a half years that I have lived here and how much things have changed, how much I have changed, as well as how thankful that I have a city that I call home even if it is crazy 99.9% of the time.  I have a tribe that I have chosen that I can go to.  I have never felt so comfortably uncomfortable and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Do I have all the answers on how things are going to go?  Nope.  Am I taking a leap of faith and trust when it comes to all the responsibilities that come with moving?  Absolutely.  Would I want it any other way?  Hell no.  I do know one thing though, God will help me through it.  I mean this apartment is a huge blessing and he totally opened the doors for my roommate and I to get this place, so I know that because he made sure we got it, He’s not going to leave me hanging.

I obviously have a lot to fill people in on, but there just hasn’t been a lot of time to do that.  Hopefully in the next few weeks I can get it all out on the screen and type it out.  I forgot how therapeutic blogging and writing can be.  I missed it.  Until then, enjoy my obsession of posting Instagram photos!

 

 

#MusicMonday: This Is My Fight Song

This weeks song that I chose was Rachel Platten and her song “Fight Song.”

If you haven’t heard of Rachel Platten, she broke out into the music scene last year with this song and it was an instant hit.  It seemed like everywhere I turned, or every radio station that I turned on was playing this song every hour on the hour.  She just recently released her first full length album “Wildfire” at the first of the year and is continuing with hit songs like “Stand By You.”

This song really speaks to me and about my life here in Los Angeles and being in the music industry.  Like I have said about a thousand times before, living here in LA and being in the music industry is not easy for anyone, let alone being disabled and pursuing a life in the music industry. It takes a very strong willed person to keep pursing and fighting every day.

My dad came to visit me a few weeks ago and he finally got a glimpse of what my life is like here in good ol’ Hollywood. I was excited to see him, and am very happy that I got to spend some time with him.  I know my dad loves me unconditionally and supports me in anything that I want to do with my life, but I sometimes feel like he doesn’t understand why I decided to move all the way to LA to pursue a job that probably has the most unstable job market out there.   Yes, it is not the most stable job environment, but it keeps me on the edge of my seat most days.  But want to know something?  I wouldn’t have it any other way. For example, a wise person once said that if there is something else that you are good at, and pursuing music isn’t your only option, go do that because the music industry is no cake walk.  I have never been one to settle down with a 9 to 5 job. To me that is way to boring.  I want excitement.  I want something new to happen every day.  This is why I am pursing a certificate at UCLA in their Music Business program.  This is why I go to tapings and concerts and network with people from all around.  I am learning every day, and yes, there are days where I have no idea what the hell I am doing, but it’s all a learning experience. This is why I always ask people to trust me.

I am a fighter and I don’t give up easily and when I set my mind to something I make sure it is accomplished, come hell or high water.  Because like the song says, “I still gotta fight left in me.”

 

#MusicMonday: Sometimes You Just Can’t Fight It

Music has always been a huge part of my life. I mean, I wouldn’t live in the entertainment capital of the world if it wasn’t, so I’m going to start doing something new every Monday.  I am going to share a song or music video that I love at that moment. So without further ado. I introduce to you Rayvon Owen and his music video for his new single “Can’t Fight It.” (see below for video).

Rayvon has come a long way since his stint on American Idol (where he was in the top 5), musically and personally.  You see, not only did he release his music video today, he also used that platform to say that he identifies as a gay man.  In the song he sings about how there are those moments where you just cannot fight the feelings that you have for people and that is where learning to trust and surrender to those feelings comes into play.

I have had the honor to meet him during his stint during American Idol, and have seen him numerous times after Idol ended and I cannot express how proud of him I am.  He is quite possibly the sweetest guy on the planet as well as humble. When it comes to his music he is a hard worker and is very passionate about his craft.  I can safely say that while yes, I am a fan of him and his music, I consider him a friend as well.

With the platform that he has, he will make a huge difference in the LGBTQ community as well as the music industry.

Please check out the interview that he did with Billboard here.

Life Is Full Of Choices

Life is full of choices.

Sometimes this can be as simple as what clothes we want to wear that day to what we want to eat.

However, we also can make bad choices as well.

Recently, I have been going through some personal stuff and it has not been the easiest to deal with.  I had been holding on to the anger, anxiety, and hurt.  This caused me to not be easy to be around.  I was withdrawing as well as on the verge of losing some great people in my life. Thats when my best friend came to me and told me that it is all about the choices we make.  I could sit there and be depressed and pissed off or I could make the choice to let it go and be happy.

I decided to do the latter and let it go and be happy.  Yes, I am still pissed off about certain situations but I am choosing to move on and not dwell on it.  If I have a moment where it does bother me, then I will be honest with it, voice it, then move on.

Has anyone else had issues with making the choice of holding on to bad emotions and letting them control your life?  If so, what did you do to let it go?

A Year Can Pass By In A Blink Of An Eye

A year ago today, I posted my first blog post with this post right here, and little did I know my life would never be the same.  I started this blog with a mission in mind to stop stereotypes that are put on the disabled unnecessarily.  I can honestly say that while the problem is still out there, I have made an impact in people’s lives to be more mindful of the stereotyping that happens.

I have also shared a lot of stories and things I have gone through throughout the year as I live in the craziness that is known as Hollywood as I pursue my dream of working in the music industry.

Crazy how much can change in just one year, and how fast one year can go by.  I have learned a lot in many different ways over this past year, including by all my 245+ followers and I look forward to connecting and learning more from all of you in the next year(s) ahead. So this is my huge thank you to all of you that have put up with me these 365 days and here is to many more days and years together.

The Year of Learning How to Surrender

In past years I had tried making New Years Resolutions, but to no avail they never stick.  So I decided to do something a little different this year.  I would think of a word that would help define my 2016.   It took a while for me to figure it out, but the word came to me last night.  The word for my 2016 is: Surrender.

The last couple of months have not been the easiest for me health wise. Nothing too serious and it isn’t life threatening, but it is very annoying and there are days where I feel like the health issues control my life.  Last night was one of those nights, but it also was different because that was also my breaking point.  It was clear, I needed to surrender and let it go.  I suck at that, always have, but this is the year where I am going to grow in that area.  It’s not just going to help in health issues that I may have, but also other areas of my life, whether that be in relationships, or jobs etc.

So the motto for the year for me is “Let Go, and Let God” and remember that I cannot control every little thing in my life.

Changing from a Hobbyist to a Career

Lately I had been feeling lost with what I wanted to do with my life.  I have been living in Los Angeles for a little over a year and a half pursing jobs in the music industry.  But as time has gone on I have found a new found love for writing (hence the blog). I was starting to think that I wanted to switch from music to writing.  After talking to a good friend though, I realized I could do both.  The problem though: I have a hobbyist view on music and writing, meaning I am more passive and more of an observer with others instead of making my own content, as well as with my blog, and need to change my thinking to thinking about it as a career.  I honestly do not know how to change my thinking with that, and I know I need to in order to fulfill what I want to do.

My question to all you wonderful readers out there: Do you have any advice on how I can do this?  Have any of you had a similar issue?  If so, how did you change your thinking?  How do you become a successful content creator?  Lastly, how do you get yourself in the right mindset to become a content creator?

An Ode to the Annual Food Coma

To say that I am beyond stuffed from all the eating I did today would probably be the ultimate understatement of the year.

Even though the food is always a big hit when it comes to Thanksgiving, it is never the most important thing.  For me, it is a day to reflect on the things that I am thankful for, and a day to reflect on what has happened over the past 11 months.

I was talking to my friend tonight as we were working on dinner and we were telling each other what we were thankful for and I realized I have a lot to be thankful for.

First of all, I have a roof over my head and I am able to live in LA and pursue my dreams. I am also thankful for my family and friends that are there for me and support me in anything that I set my mind to.

I am also thankful for the job that I had with Wag for a few months.  I may not be working there anymore, but my time there left an impact in my life and I met some pretty awesome people that have impacted my life in many ways.

I am thankful that I have good health. It may not be perfect, but it could be worse and I am thankful that it is not.

I am thankful for a certain someone who has been a positive influence in my life and helped me grow and step out of my comfort zone in ways that I did not expect.

I am thankful that I found my voice through writing and for starting my blog earlier this year.

And last, but certainly not least, I am thankful for all of you, my readers, who put up with me randomness and are there for me when I need to vent and voice my opinion on things.  Thank you all.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

What are some things you are thankful for?

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Today marks the one-year anniversary that I have been living and pursuing my dreams of working in the Music Industry here in Hollywood, or Hollyweird as I like to call it. And honestly, looking back, so much has happened, but it all seems to have flown by in super speed.

Hollywood is a crazy place. It is also a VERY hard place to live in at times. It WILL force you to grow up and mature fast. You have to get used to being on the go at least 99.9% of the time. Believe me, being a girl who grew up in Oregon for 26 years, this was a huge adjustment for me, but I honestly would not change it for the world.

In just the last year alone, I have learned so much about myself. When I look back on the last year, I think the biggest thing that was the toughest for me to learn was on the friendship side of things. I was shown who were true friends and who were friends that over stayed their welcome. At least I know that all people who come into your life are supposed to be there for a reason, it was just their time to go, I guess. Yes, it was tough, but I am better and a stronger person because of it.

I have also learned to express myself more and be honest with my emotions and not run away from them. I am a creative person, so it is important for me to let it out, and hell, something beautiful can come out of it creativity wise. I also started going to school for Music Business and have learned a ton of interesting things just in the first two classes I have taken. Another thing I have started to dabble in is some song writing. Honestly, I never in a million years thought I would do this, but I really felt like God was calling me to be more creative lately and this is the way he wanted me to go. I don’t have a lot done, but it will get there.

One other important thing that I grew in, was my acceptance with my CP.  Over the past few months, I have gained more of an open mind with the disability world and through that this blog was born, and I am so glad it was!

When I first got to LA a year ago, the first thing I did is  what every person on the planet has probably done and gone to The Happiest Place on Earth and that basically was the kickoff to something amazing. If I could live at Disneyland I would. One of the plus sides to living where I do, I am literally only half an hour away.

Then in August I was able to go to Las Vegas for a few days with some friends. While I have had been there before with family a couple of years prior, I was really able to see The Strip and experience it a lot more than the first time. Let’s just say it was A LOT of walking and very little sleep. But it was probably one of the best trips I had taken last year.

Most recently I was able to go to a series of American Idol tapings and this really helped me network with people in the business from a business standpoint as well as personal. I met some pretty amazing people through this experience. Idol crew even called me a professional audience member. (Hey, I’ll take it!).

So in conclusion, I cannot complain with where my life is at this moment. To be completely honest, I am in the best place I have been in a very long time. And this makes me super excited to see where the next year will take me. I have some pretty awesome goals set up for myself and they are starting to look like they will all work out.

I’m off to spend this day at the beach celebrating the anniversary as well as Memorial Day! I know, life is rough when you live in sunny Southern California! 😉 Have a great holiday weekend everyone!

Mythbusters Disability Edition: Diseased and Needs Help 24/7

All of my life I have heard, “Can I help you with that?” “Here, let me get that for you.” Or one of my favorites one yet, “So, are you helping out that disabled girl?” This is the type of things I get on a semi regular basis when it comes to people and dealing with my cerebral palsy.

Ever since I moved to Los Angeles almost a year ago, I have been pushed out of my comfort zone on a daily basis and have done things that I did not think that I could do, especially when it came to things dealing with my cerebral palsy. Although, I will say that the hardest and most eye-opening thing that I have had to deal with is people’s perceptions of me. And there have been a multitude of things that have come up in the last month or so that have really gotten under my skin, that I believe people need to be aware and mindful of.

What is that you ask? Well, let me tell you: Not all disabled people need a caretaker, and just because we have a disability does not mean we are diseased and the person I am going to be standing next to is going to get it. Now, you may be asking, “Katy, where in the world is this rant coming from?” Well I am going to tell you of two different instances that literally happened on the same day about a month ago.

The first incident happened when I had gotten an email to come in for an interview for an internship. To say that I was excited for this opportunity was an understatement. Sure, it wouldn’t be a paid internship, but it would at least help me get my foot in the door in the music industry. But as I continued to email with this person, the whole situation began to feel off. They wanted me to come in on Monday’s, Wednesday’s and Thursday’s until six, and the place where the internship was a good half hour away from where I live in Hollywood. I would do it, but I also had school to worry about as well and I told them that I couldn’t work until six on two of the days because of school. They of course fought back saying that I had ample time to get to class, and I was put in a position where I felt like I was backed into a corner where I had to mention my cerebral palsy. Now, I will be open and honest with anyone about my disability, that’s not an issue. I mean for crying out loud if I had an issue with it, I wouldn’t be writing this blog. But I do not tell jobs that I am disabled because I do not want that to be a defining factor in whether I get hired or not. I had to tell them that it takes me longer to get to places because of my disability and I have to leave enough time for that. This is the part that bugged me: They emailed me back and said, “I’m so sorry you suffer from this disease.” Um, last time I checked I wasn’t dying. To me I always looked at a disease as something you can die from, not a disability like mine, where it just hard for me to keep my balance and walk. However, according  to online resources, cerebral palsy is considered a disease, just not one that is considered deadly. I was unaware of this until just recently. Even I am still learning things from my disability, even after 27 years.  I ended up still setting up an appointment to have an interview, but after a couple of days I cancelled it because it just didn’t feel right going after everything that happened.

While I was dealing with the email situation, my roommate and I were doing laundry. After going to go check on the clothes, my roommate came back in and had told me of a conversation that she had with one of the other people in the apartment building while she was down there. They had actually asked about me. They had seen me around with my roommate and they thought that my roommate was my caretaker. Now, this is not the first time that this has happened. We will be out and about and people will just assume that she is my caretaker. I am setting the record straight right now. She is my best friend and roommate, not my caretaker. I do not and have I never needed a caretaker to take care of me in all my 27 years of life. My parents raised me to be strong and independent and I believe that they did a pretty damn good job. It can be very upsetting for me, as well as my roommate, and other people who I am close to because we can see what I am capable of and to have people assume that I cannot do things can be hurtful.

The positive that I take out of both of these situations is that I have a chance to share my story and show people who I am not some sick person who cannot do anything for themselves. I was able to tell the person I was emailing that there was no need or reason to feel sorry for me, that I am still the same Katy that will work her ass off when it comes to a job and that I do not give up easily.

I just want to encourage anybody that does see somebody who is disabled to not automatically jump to conclusions about whether they are sick, or cannot do things for themselves. Yes, there are people out there who have diseases, which make them not feel well on a daily basis, and yes, there are people out there who do need some extra help and do need a caretaker, but that does not mean that everyone does. I encourage you to get to know the persons story before you jump to such conclusions. I can tell you that it would make the persons day if you did something just as simple as that. Who knows you may make a new friend just by getting to know them.