These past few months have been the hardest months of my life in a long time. I’m not going to go into detail about it just yet, as it is another blog post all on its own. However, one week from tomorrow, I move into a new apartment. As anyone in Los Angeles, there is no way in hell that I can afford an apartment all on my own, but I feel like this move is a huge step for me. I will, for the first time in the two and a half years that I have lived here in Los Angeles, have a place that I can call mine.
There are many emotions that go with this however. Excited. Nervous. Overwhelmed. Scared shitless. Just to name a few emotions. It is all a roller coaster.
It has made me think about the two and a half years that I have lived here and how much things have changed, how much I have changed, as well as how thankful that I have a city that I call home even if it is crazy 99.9% of the time. I have a tribe that I have chosen that I can go to. I have never felt so comfortably uncomfortable and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Do I have all the answers on how things are going to go? Nope. Am I taking a leap of faith and trust when it comes to all the responsibilities that come with moving? Absolutely. Would I want it any other way? Hell no. I do know one thing though, God will help me through it. I mean this apartment is a huge blessing and he totally opened the doors for my roommate and I to get this place, so I know that because he made sure we got it, He’s not going to leave me hanging.
I obviously have a lot to fill people in on, but there just hasn’t been a lot of time to do that. Hopefully in the next few weeks I can get it all out on the screen and type it out. I forgot how therapeutic blogging and writing can be. I missed it. Until then, enjoy my obsession of posting Instagram photos!
In past years I had tried making New Years Resolutions, but to no avail they never stick. So I decided to do something a little different this year. I would think of a word that would help define my 2016. It took a while for me to figure it out, but the word came to me last night. The word for my 2016 is: Surrender.
The last couple of months have not been the easiest for me health wise. Nothing too serious and it isn’t life threatening, but it is very annoying and there are days where I feel like the health issues control my life. Last night was one of those nights, but it also was different because that was also my breaking point. It was clear, I needed to surrender and let it go. I suck at that, always have, but this is the year where I am going to grow in that area. It’s not just going to help in health issues that I may have, but also other areas of my life, whether that be in relationships, or jobs etc.
So the motto for the year for me is “Let Go, and Let God” and remember that I cannot control every little thing in my life.
Last weekend I had the opportunity to see Joyce Meyer speak at a conference in Long Beach, California. Now, if you don’t know who Joyce Meyer is, Google or YouTube her. She is amazing and hilarious to boot!
Sadly, one of the sessions was cancelled due to a power outage in the area, but that did not stop the rest of the conference from happening the rest of the weekend. Her topic for the conference that weekend was about trusting God and doing good.
I think this is a very hard lesson to remember for anybody, but also very important. I think it is so easy to see how hard life can get and easily forget that God has it in the bag.
I think God wanted to see if I was really listening this past weekend because I was constantly tested with things that were going on in my life. It was like the inner voice in my head kept saying “Trust Me and keep doing good.”
She also said something about healing that really struck a chord with me and something that I completely agree with. Joyce said that healing is a process. Now, if you have kept up with my blog you know my thoughts and feelings on healing and being healed. She went on to say that many Christians think and believe that being healed should be a instantaneous thing and they end up not enjoying the process and journey that comes with it, which in turn brings bitterness, anger and hatred in my opinion. If I were to use praise hands, it would have been during this segment of the conference.
Going into this next week, I feel more encouraged and positive that things will turn out for the best, I just got to keep pushing forward and doing good.