These past few months have been the hardest months of my life in a long time. I’m not going to go into detail about it just yet, as it is another blog post all on its own. However, one week from tomorrow, I move into a new apartment. As anyone in Los Angeles, there is no way in hell that I can afford an apartment all on my own, but I feel like this move is a huge step for me. I will, for the first time in the two and a half years that I have lived here in Los Angeles, have a place that I can call mine.
There are many emotions that go with this however. Excited. Nervous. Overwhelmed. Scared shitless. Just to name a few emotions. It is all a roller coaster.
It has made me think about the two and a half years that I have lived here and how much things have changed, how much I have changed, as well as how thankful that I have a city that I call home even if it is crazy 99.9% of the time. I have a tribe that I have chosen that I can go to. I have never felt so comfortably uncomfortable and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Do I have all the answers on how things are going to go? Nope. Am I taking a leap of faith and trust when it comes to all the responsibilities that come with moving? Absolutely. Would I want it any other way? Hell no. I do know one thing though, God will help me through it. I mean this apartment is a huge blessing and he totally opened the doors for my roommate and I to get this place, so I know that because he made sure we got it, He’s not going to leave me hanging.
I obviously have a lot to fill people in on, but there just hasn’t been a lot of time to do that. Hopefully in the next few weeks I can get it all out on the screen and type it out. I forgot how therapeutic blogging and writing can be. I missed it. Until then, enjoy my obsession of posting Instagram photos!
This week I chose the song “Stressed Out”by twenty one pilots,
Twenty-One Pilots are a band that I just recently heard about after this song started playing on the radio. They have actually been around for about 5 years. The band, which consists of Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun, hail from Columbus, Ohio. “Stressed Out” is their third single off of their album “Blurryface.” To me, their sound is unique. A mix of hip hop, mixed with alternative with a pop feel.
You might be wondering why blurryface and what does it mean? Trust me, I was wondering the same thing too. Well, according to this interview here, blurryface represents the insecurities that the lead singer feels.
Honestly, I think this represents people in my generation. I believe that a lot of people my age have the same insecurities. I will be the first person to tell you that I also suffer from these types of insecurities. Being an adult is overrated. I wish that I could go back to childhood where there was not a worry in the world. I wish I could go back to the day where it didn’t matter what I wore, what I looked like, and back to the day where I didn’t need to worry about job hunting or paying bills. When I was growing up I was always greeted with, “Go for your dreams!” “Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t accomplish your dream!” Is it just me, or was it the previous generations that taught us this powerful lesson? However, if we do that, we are labeled as rude and disrespectful as well as greedy and lazy. See the problem here?
This is just an idea, but maybe our dreams look different then people in previous generations. Nothing is wrong with that. Different dreams include different ways of achieving them.
That’s just my two cents. What about you? Do you agree? Disagree? Why?
This weeks song that I chose was Rachel Platten and her song “Fight Song.”
If you haven’t heard of Rachel Platten, she broke out into the music scene last year with this song and it was an instant hit. It seemed like everywhere I turned, or every radio station that I turned on was playing this song every hour on the hour. She just recently released her first full length album “Wildfire” at the first of the year and is continuing with hit songs like “Stand By You.”
This song really speaks to me and about my life here in Los Angeles and being in the music industry. Like I have said about a thousand times before, living here in LA and being in the music industry is not easy for anyone, let alone being disabled and pursuing a life in the music industry. It takes a very strong willed person to keep pursing and fighting every day.
My dad came to visit me a few weeks ago and he finally got a glimpse of what my life is like here in good ol’ Hollywood. I was excited to see him, and am very happy that I got to spend some time with him. I know my dad loves me unconditionally and supports me in anything that I want to do with my life, but I sometimes feel like he doesn’t understand why I decided to move all the way to LA to pursue a job that probably has the most unstable job market out there. Yes, it is not the most stable job environment, but it keeps me on the edge of my seat most days. But want to know something? I wouldn’t have it any other way. For example, a wise person once said that if there is something else that you are good at, and pursuing music isn’t your only option, go do that because the music industry is no cake walk. I have never been one to settle down with a 9 to 5 job. To me that is way to boring. I want excitement. I want something new to happen every day. This is why I am pursing a certificate at UCLA in their Music Business program. This is why I go to tapings and concerts and network with people from all around. I am learning every day, and yes, there are days where I have no idea what the hell I am doing, but it’s all a learning experience. This is why I always ask people to trust me.
I am a fighter and I don’t give up easily and when I set my mind to something I make sure it is accomplished, come hell or high water. Because like the song says, “I still gotta fight left in me.”
A year ago today, I posted my first blog post with this post right here, and little did I know my life would never be the same. I started this blog with a mission in mind to stop stereotypes that are put on the disabled unnecessarily. I can honestly say that while the problem is still out there, I have made an impact in people’s lives to be more mindful of the stereotyping that happens.
I have also shared a lot of stories and things I have gone through throughout the year as I live in the craziness that is known as Hollywood as I pursue my dream of working in the music industry.
Crazy how much can change in just one year, and how fast one year can go by. I have learned a lot in many different ways over this past year, including by all my 245+ followers and I look forward to connecting and learning more from all of you in the next year(s) ahead. So this is my huge thank you to all of you that have put up with me these 365 days and here is to many more days and years together.
In past years I had tried making New Years Resolutions, but to no avail they never stick. So I decided to do something a little different this year. I would think of a word that would help define my 2016. It took a while for me to figure it out, but the word came to me last night. The word for my 2016 is: Surrender.
The last couple of months have not been the easiest for me health wise. Nothing too serious and it isn’t life threatening, but it is very annoying and there are days where I feel like the health issues control my life. Last night was one of those nights, but it also was different because that was also my breaking point. It was clear, I needed to surrender and let it go. I suck at that, always have, but this is the year where I am going to grow in that area. It’s not just going to help in health issues that I may have, but also other areas of my life, whether that be in relationships, or jobs etc.
So the motto for the year for me is “Let Go, and Let God” and remember that I cannot control every little thing in my life.
Lately I had been feeling lost with what I wanted to do with my life. I have been living in Los Angeles for a little over a year and a half pursing jobs in the music industry. But as time has gone on I have found a new found love for writing (hence the blog). I was starting to think that I wanted to switch from music to writing. After talking to a good friend though, I realized I could do both. The problem though: I have a hobbyist view on music and writing, meaning I am more passive and more of an observer with others instead of making my own content, as well as with my blog, and need to change my thinking to thinking about it as a career. I honestly do not know how to change my thinking with that, and I know I need to in order to fulfill what I want to do.
My question to all you wonderful readers out there: Do you have any advice on how I can do this? Have any of you had a similar issue? If so, how did you change your thinking? How do you become a successful content creator? Lastly, how do you get yourself in the right mindset to become a content creator?
To say that I am beyond stuffed from all the eating I did today would probably be the ultimate understatement of the year.
Even though the food is always a big hit when it comes to Thanksgiving, it is never the most important thing. For me, it is a day to reflect on the things that I am thankful for, and a day to reflect on what has happened over the past 11 months.
I was talking to my friend tonight as we were working on dinner and we were telling each other what we were thankful for and I realized I have a lot to be thankful for.
First of all, I have a roof over my head and I am able to live in LA and pursue my dreams. I am also thankful for my family and friends that are there for me and support me in anything that I set my mind to.
I am also thankful for the job that I had with Wag for a few months. I may not be working there anymore, but my time there left an impact in my life and I met some pretty awesome people that have impacted my life in many ways.
I am thankful that I have good health. It may not be perfect, but it could be worse and I am thankful that it is not.
I am thankful for a certain someone who has been a positive influence in my life and helped me grow and step out of my comfort zone in ways that I did not expect.
I am thankful that I found my voice through writing and for starting my blog earlier this year.
And last, but certainly not least, I am thankful for all of you, my readers, who put up with me randomness and are there for me when I need to vent and voice my opinion on things. Thank you all.
What are some things you are thankful for?